Eggs are not supposed to be crunchy!

We had breakfast out yesterday and the eggs they delivered put me instantly in mind of my childhood. I have long since developed the habit of ordering eggs scrambled because scrambled are more difficult to screw up than fried eggs, but the dry, crumbly, overcooked mass of yellow that arrived on my plate yesterday morning proved that it can be done.

Earlier this year I wrote a blog post about crunchy eggs and other awful things delivered to the table by my mother, and yesterday’s experience put me in mind of it. It made me decide to post, once and for all, definitive instructions regarding the proper cooking of eggs.

Eggs are not supposed to be crunchy. If the eggs that come to your plate have a crispy little frill around the edges, if they are brown anywhere at all, if they crackle when you bite into them, they are overcooked. Using too high a flame under the pan, butter that is too hot, leaving the eggs to cook too long or, in the case of a scrambled egg dish like an omelette, using too much egg for the size of the pan, can all contribute to overcooked eggs.

Eggs have a delicate flavour and, unless they are merely a part of the dish, they need to be cooked gently and in a mildly flavoured fat. That means boiling them in bacon grease is out…they will taste like bacon, not eggs. Butter…real butter…is the best fat for cooking an egg and, used sparingly, is hazardous neither to your health nor your pocket.

If you want to taste the true delicacy of an egg’s flavour, try one of the recipes below:

Fried eggs
Ingredients:
2 fresh eggs
1 tbsp fresh butter (not margarine)
Pinch of garlic powder (optional)
Salt to taste

Preparation:
In a thin bottomed skillet, slowly melt butter (even if it is a “non-stick” pan). Keep heat under pan as low as possible. Break the eggs into a bowl and inspect for bits of shell or red specks: pick them out if you find them.

When butter has almost fully melted, swirl it around to fully coat the bottom of the pan. Return to heat and immediately slip eggs into pan.

Using a plastic or silicon spatula, rupture the part of the egg white that is higher than the rest, allowing it to flow out and equalize the height of the white. Sprinkle with salt (and garlic powder). Follow one of the three choices below, depending on how you want your eggs:

Sunny side up: Continue to cook slowly until white is fully set, at which time the yolk should be warm but still wet. This style of preparation is not recommended for use with eggs from American chickens due to the risk of salmonella from the soft yolks.

Over easy: Continue to cook slowly until white is almost set. Slip spatula blade beneath the egg, making sure the yolk is fully supported, and flip the egg over. Allow to cook briefly, removing while the yolk is still soft This style of preparation is not recommended for use with eggs from American chickens due to the risk of salmonella from the soft yolks.

Over hard: Using a plastic or silicon spatula, rupture the part of the egg white that is higher than the rest, allowing it to flow out and equalize the height of the white. Also break the yolk at the same time. Sprinkle with salt (and garlic powder). Continue to cook slowly until white is almost set. Slip spatula blade beneath the egg and flip it over. Allow to cook briefly,
pressing down on egg with blade of spatula to make sure all of the yolk cooks This style of preparation is recommended for use with eggs from American chickens since fully cooking the egg kills salmonella bacteria.

Scrambled eggs
Ingredients:
2 fresh eggs
1 tbsp fresh butter (not margarine)
2 tbsp heavy cream, sour milk, buttermilk, or sour cream
Pinch of garlic powder (optional)
Salt to taste

Preparation:
In a thin bottomed skillet, slowly melt butter (even if it is a “non-stick” pan). Keep heat under pan as low as possible. Break the eggs into a bowl and inspect for bits of shell or red specks: pick them out if you find them. Add cream, salt and garlic powder to eggs and beat vigorously to incorporate cream into eggs.

When butter has almost fully melted, swirl it around to fully coat the bottom of the pan. Return to heat and immediately pour eggs into pan. Allow to cook slowly until the egg has set on the bottom, then using a plastic or silicon spatula, stir the eggs around, lifting the set egg and allowing the liquid egg contact with the pan’s surface. Keep eggs moving until entire mass has set. Remove from heat before eggs become dry or begin to separate into small curds. Scrambled eggs should be fully cooked but moist.

Serve with your choice of breakfast meats or over a slice of toast.